


tethered to another

by connyhascontrol



Series: tenderness is in the hands [2]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Pregnancy, this is extremely soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24113410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connyhascontrol/pseuds/connyhascontrol
Summary: “It’s an actual baby!” Katya excitedly says, for about the fiftieth time since they’ve left the doctor’s office with pictures from the 3D ultrasound. She quickly fluffs up all the throw pillows and carefully arranges them on the couch before helping Trixie get settled. She’s already in the kitchen, heating up water for Trixie’s favorite lavender tea, when Trixie yells her reply.“He doesn’t actually have your DNA, so the chances of him turning out to be a creature from hell were always slim.”
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Series: tenderness is in the hands [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739821
Comments: 16
Kudos: 99





	tethered to another

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mattepinkallshades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattepinkallshades/gifts).



> Happy mother's day, gay people! This is a sweet little sequel to [tenderness is in the hands](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22350637), but you don't have to have read that to understand this. A big thank you to [stutter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stutter/pseuds/stutter) for looking this over for me and to the whole polycule, it's always a joy to share my work with you. This is a gift for [mattepinkallshades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattepinkallshades/pseuds/mattepinkallshades), the kindest, gentlest person I know.
> 
> The title is from Brandi Carlile's song The Mother.

Katya’s hand has become a fixture at the small of Trixie’s back over the last months, supporting, guiding, gently kneading the tense muscles there. She’s had to learn to not be overbearing. At first, in her excitement, Katya had tended to push Trixie around which she didn’t take to any more kindly now that she was pregnant than she did before. 

As soon as they stepped out of the fertility clinic after receiving the news that they’d been successful on the first try, they both had joked about Trixie becoming a hormonal monster, unleashing all her brattiness on Katya in new and frightening ways, and kicking her out of bed to go buy pickles and Nutella at 3am. None of that has happened. Instead, Trixie has started getting weepy at the smallest things, like when their dog Cooper had started to lay his head on Trixie’s thigh, waiting to be scratched behind the ears, when she was too exhausted to sit and play with him on the floor. Katya is strictly forbidden from watching any documentaries after Trixie had spent an entire evening sobbing over a type of Indonesian bug going extinct about two hundred years ago.

She hasn’t developed any strange food preferences either, since anything richer or spicier than mashed potatoes makes her sick. Their regular Thai nights have become mash nights. Katya isn’t sure if Trixie really likes mashed potatoes that much or if she just enjoys watching Katya make them. Not that it would make a difference. She already always does yoga in Trixie’s presence since she complained about missing out when Katya used to do it in the living room, early in the morning when Trixie was still asleep.

“It’s an actual baby!” Katya excitedly says, for about the fiftieth time since they’ve left the doctor’s office with pictures from the 3D ultrasound. She quickly fluffs up all the throw pillows and carefully arranges them on the couch before helping Trixie get settled. She’s already in the kitchen, heating up water for Trixie’s favorite lavender tea, when Trixie yells her reply.

“He doesn’t actually have your DNA, so the chances of him turning out to be a creature from hell were always slim.” 

Katya barks out a laugh as she sets the kettle on the stove. It heats up faster than the fancy electric one Katya’s sister got them for their wedding. 

_ Him _ . Their son. Who Trixie will give birth to in about two months. 

Once the tea has steeped, Katya takes the bag out and brings the mug into the living room, setting it down on the coffee table. She quickly folds herself down on the couch, pressed close to Trixie, who is again poring over the two pictures the nurse handed them with a polite smile. Katya had been baffled by how routine it was for that woman. She’d been holding portraits of their unborn child and remained completely unmoved by it. Trixie and Katya had both stared at the monitor open-mouthed, Trixie not the only one who was crying for once. 

Katya strokes one careful finger over the tiny, wrinkled forehead in the picture.

“He’s got your nose.”

“Poor kid,” Trixie remarks dryly, but she’s smiling.

“No, don’t say that! Your nose is so beautiful.” Katya leans over to give it a little kiss, and Trixie hums happily.

“Thank you.”

Katya digs her phone out of her jeans pocket. There are a number of messages in her family’s group chat that she only skims, too excited to share the pictures to really care about the cake her mom made. The reactions from her parents and siblings are immediate, everyone cooing over the baby and sending messages so fast that she can barely read it all, and Katya hands her phone over to Trixie so she can see. She’s in the chat too, of course, but she has every group chat muted on principle and almost never checks them. Their friends and family know to tell Katya to nudge Trixie when they want her to see something. 

“You should send them to your mom, too,” Katya says gently, and Trixie hums in acknowledgement but does nothing else. Katya doesn’t push it. She can see something brewing behind Trixie’s forehead; she’ll let her know when she’s ready to talk.

It comes hours later, when they’re already in bed, and Katya is rubbing lotion into the taut skin of Trixie’s tummy.

“It’s not that I want to keep anything from them.”

“I know.” Katya’s hands still but stay where they are.

“They only started caring about me when they could get something out of me. When I’m a good,  _ normal _ daughter who can give them grandkids.” Her voice is even. None of this is news to them. “They weren’t happy for me when I met you, or when we moved in together, or when we got married.” 

Trixie’s parents almost didn’t come to the wedding, saying the trip was too expensive and too inconvenient for them. As soon as Katya had told her parents that, they had offered to help with plane tickets, devastated at the idea of Trixie’s parents not attending their own child’s wedding. The Mattels had begrudgingly given in, said they didn’t need the help, and spent the ceremony as well as the reception sitting stone-faced in their assigned seats.

Once Trixie told them she was pregnant, her mom had changed completely. Suddenly she was calling on the weekends, just to ask how everyone was, even occasionally exchanging pleasantries with Katya, when before they had barely spoken five sentences in as many years.

“They don’t care about me. They’re just happy that I still turned out to be a baby machine after all the disappointment.”

Katya can feel movement against her hand, and Trixie winces slightly. He always gets more active when they start settling in for the night. Katya presses a kiss to Trixie’s belly. 

“I don’t want you to miss out on the chance to have a relationship with your family.”

Trixie rolls her eyes, but her voice is soft as she says, “I already have more family than I ever thought I wanted.”

Katya knows she’s talking about Katya’s family that embraced Trixie right away as much as she’s talking about their own little family. They lived a full life when it was just the two of them in a cramped apartment.  _ This _ \-- the house, the dog, the real-life human child they’re about to have -- is more than either of them ever could have dreamed of. 

*

“You’re huge!” Katya’s nephew yells with his face right in front of the webcam just after he snuck into the room where Katya’s sister is trying to have a Skype call with them.

“Oh, wow.” Trixie’s voice is as flat as her expression. They silently sit through the quick, somewhat embarrassed intervention by Nika, explaining that you shouldn’t call anyone huge and that Trixie is going to have a baby soon.

“How soon?”

“Not soon enough,” Trixie mutters darkly, and Katya strokes her arm where her hand was already resting.

They’re the first of their friend group to have kids, so for any pregnancy-related questions or complaints Trixie had started going to Nika. Today’s problem is that Trixie has decided she’s had enough. She’s done being pregnant. 

To be fair to little Alex, Trixie  _ is _ huge. Everyone they meet assumes she’s either due any minute or expecting twins. She still has another five weeks to go, assuming their son will be on time. The doctor had assured them that yes, he was a large baby but not worryingly so. He was perfectly healthy and so was Trixie, there was no reason to assume there would be any complications. Trixie was only calmed by that for about an hour. Then she shifted into complaining that of course she had to squeeze the world’s biggest baby out of her, and that if her pussy got torn up irreparably, it was all Katya’s fault. Considering Katya wasn’t the one who put the baby there, and if he did have her DNA he would probably be much smaller, she hadn’t understood that logic but had wisely kept her mouth shut.

“I’m just tired,” Trixie mutters that night when Katya is kneeling in front of her, taking her socks off for her. “I can’t move and everything hurts.”

“I know, honey.” Katya starts rubbing her feet where she knows they’re especially sore. 

“I liked being pregnant the first few months, but I can’t do this for much longer.”

Katya pushes herself up with her hands on the edge of the mattress left and right of Trixie’s thick thighs and kisses her downturned mouth that softens under her touch. 

“You don’t have to do it for that much longer, just long enough for him to be ready. I know you can do it. You’ve gotten through so much already.” Katya kisses her again. “I wish I could take over for you.”

Trixie gives her a watery smile, but then she can’t hold it back anymore, and tears are spilling over. Katya sits down next to her and wraps her arms around Trixie’s torso, pulling her close.

“No, you always said you didn’t want to be pregnant and I did, I  _ wanted _ this,” Trixie blubbers through her tears.

“You didn’t know what it would be like.” 

“I knew I would get fat.” Trixie has her face pressed against Katya’s shoulder, making it hard to understand her.

Katya frowns. “Yeah. So what?”

“I didn’t…” Trixie takes a shaky breath. “I didn’t think it would bother me this much.”

“Oh, baby.” Katya pulls Trixie even closer and runs her fingers through her hair, her short nails lightly scratching, and Trixie sinks deeper into their embrace. Katya leans over her and whispers close to her ear, “I still think you’re the most fuckable woman on earth.” In her lap, Trixie twitches with a snort.

“Thanks,” comes her muffled reply.

“Seriously though,” Katya drops a kiss on the crown of Trixie’s head, “you’re not fat, you’re carrying our child. And if you were fat you’d still be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” 

Trixie is quiet for a moment, then she pulls herself up into a sitting position again, her hands finding Katya’s. She sniffles. “Do you really think I’m still hot?”

“Oh my God! You never, ever, ever have to worry about that, baby.” She squeezes Trixie’s hands tightly. “Of course I do!”

“It’s just…” Trixie looks down into her lap. “We haven’t had sex in a while.” She shrugs, as if it’s not a big deal for her when it clearly is.

“Honey! You’ve been so tired all the time. You’re usually asleep when I’m only halfway through your massage. I didn’t wanna be like,” Katya puts on a weird voice, talking out one side of her mouth only, “ _ will ya let me stick it in? _ ” 

The corners of Trixie’s mouth pull up at that, and she closes her eyes. “ _ That _ did something for me; it’s definitely been too long.”

Katya throws her head back and laughs. “How could this happen to us? To  _ us _ ? That we’re not telling each other when we wanna get it on.”

With a groan Trixie lies down across the mattress, no longer crying. “I’m still as horny as I’ve been since the fourth month, I’m just too tired to do anything about it.”

“The fourth month was a good one,” Katya says with a grin and lies down next to Trixie, turning onto her side so she can face her. Trixie grins back. 

“It was.”

With the end of the first trimester, Trixie had jumped Katya at every opportunity they got. They had as much sex as they did when they first started dating, which is to say truly ridiculous amounts. Not getting dressed all weekend kind of amounts. Being forced to take breaks because they were too sore in a variety of places kind of amounts.

Katya scoots across the mattress to kiss Trixie.  _ Really _ kiss her, so that her mouth opens up beneath Katya’s gentle but insistent tongue; so that she sighs softly and her body relaxes. 

When Katya pulls back, Trixie’s eyes open slowly and she blinks a few times. 

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’m right here, always.” 

Katya’s hand has settled on Trixie’s naked, fuzzy thigh, stroking back and forth slowly. Trixie has opted out of pants completely by now. During the day she wears dresses, and at night just underwear and a comfy shirt. It makes it easy for Katya to slide her hand up to Trixie’s hip and slip a finger under the waistband of her panties. Trixie impatiently pushes her hips up, and Katya laughs softly against her face. After a sweet kiss on Trixie's cheek, Katya sits up so she can use both hands to undress Trixie.

She gingerly guides the panties down Trixie’s legs and over her feet before dropping them to the floor. Then she peels Trixie out of her shirt quickly so she can lie back down. Trixie pulls herself all the way onto the bed so she can rest her head on the mountain of throw pillows they haven’t taken down to sleep yet. Katya watches how she gets comfortable, one hand on her belly to support it while she gets settled. She’s breathing heavily, the movement already enough to exhaust her. 

“What do you want, baby?”

Trixie looks up at her with a small sigh. “I just wanna lie here and get fucked.”

Katya laughs softly. “Okay, we can do that.” Before she gets up and heads to their toy drawer, she kisses from Trixie’s shoulder up her neck, finally placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “Don’t move.”

“I can’t,” Trixie says through a snort. 

Katya knows exactly what she needs. She grabs the harness and a small-ish dildo. She doesn’t want Trixie to have to work for it. Trixie hums her approval when Katya is back by her side, and then tugs on Katya’s pajama shorts.

“Get those off, I haven’t looked at you naked in too long.”

Katya is already pushing them down her hips as she says, “You saw me come out of the shower this morning.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t  _ look  _ look.”

“That’s not like you.” Katya pulls the tank top she sleeps in over her head.

“I was trying to keep myself from getting too horny. Now I don’t have to,” Trixie explains with her eyes glued to Katya’s body. “If I can’t see my own pussy, I at least wanna see yours,” she adds with a grin. Katya finishes securing the harness and crawls between Trixie’s legs. 

“She looks like she’s doing fine.” Katya places one hand over Trixie’s vulva, and she immediately presses up against it.

“Mmm, say hi to her from me.” 

Trixie’s breathy voice rises in pitch when Katya strokes her fingertips over her, back and forth, and finally presses in. She opens up easily to two fingers, her body reacting like it did when Katya was working on getting her whole hand inside Trixie before her pregnancy. She’s more sensitive now. It takes her so little to come; if it was anyone else, Katya would think it’s unfair.

As usual, Trixie quickly lets her know she’s ready for more, and Katya is too eager to make her wait. She fits the dildo through the O ring and adds lube with efficient movements. The whole time, Trixie’s hips keep pulsing, searching for something just out of reach. 

Their oversight becomes obvious when Katya tries to line the dick up.

“Uh… can you, like, pull your legs up a little more?”

Trixie tries, Katya can see she does, and she’s breathing heavily with the effort now, rather than with arousal. 

“I can’t. Maybe you can--”

“I can’t reach,” Katya interrupts her a little sheepishly. “I’d have to lie on top of you, and--”

“Right.” Trixie’s face falls with the moment being interrupted.

“Baby, we’ll make it work.” Katya quickly crawls up the bed next to Trixie and takes her face in both hands, kissing her gently. Trixie just nods, probably to keep from crying, and Katya leans her forehead against Trixie’s for a few seconds.

“I love you and I want you so much. I’m not going to let your belly stop me.”

Trixie nods again, and gives her a watery smile.

“Can you roll onto your side?”

This time, with Katya getting some of the pillows out of the way, Trixie manages, and Katya quickly spoons her. Usually, Katya wants to see Trixie’s face, but this way she can hold up Trixie’s leg with one hand, and line the dildo up with the other. When she finally pushes into Trixie, slowly to give her time to get used to the sensation, Trixie sighs long and deep. Her body melts against Katya’s, not meeting her gentle thrusts, just getting closer and closer. 

Katya stays silent, only listening to the soft, little noises Trixie makes. She deserves getting exactly what she wants. Her sighs slowly turn into whines, and Katya’s hips speed up. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Katya murmurs into Trixie’s ear when she can tell she’s getting close. “Your body is incredible; you are creating life, and it's so fucking sexy.” Trixie whimpers. "I'm so lucky that I get to take care of you. I want to give you everything you need, baby." 

Katya lets go off Trixie's leg, and slides her hand in up to one of her breasts. They were big to start with, but now they're  _ full _ , seemingly ready to burst at any moment. Her nipples are bigger and darker, and Katya knows not to touch the tender skin too much. Trixie arches into the gentle touch, and it changes the angle Katya is fucking into her with. It's what was missing for Trixie before and she's coming in a shuddering orgasm that doesn't seem to stop. When it finally does, Trixie reaches backwards for Katya's thigh.

"Too much, too much," she gasps, and Katya quickly but carefully pulls out, taking her hands off Trixie's skin completely. "Get that off and come back here," Trixie orders, and Katya's fingers are already working on the buckles of the harness. She carelessly drops it off the bed, and then gathers Trixie in her arms, her weight resting against Katya.

"I love you," Katya murmurs into Trixie's hair before pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

"You really do." With a sigh, Trixie pushes herself up far enough that she can reach Katya's mouth with her own. "I love you too," she says just before closing the distance between their lips. They kiss slowly, with no urgency, familiar with each other. When they pull apart, Trixie gives Katya another small kiss, and then starts moving down her body.

"What are you doing?"

Trixie has one hand on her belly as she slowly shuffles down the bed. "I'm going to eat you out."

"Oh. Okay." That gets Katya a slap on her thigh.

"A bit more enthusiasm, please."

"I'm just trying to figure out how we're gonna do that!" Katya quickly explains. "I'm never not thrilled about you eating me out."

Trixie has made it down and in between Katya's legs. "Lying on my side was good. If you can just…" She puts one hand on Katya's knee, and gently presses to the side so Katya's bent leg is lying flat. Then, she lies down with her head resting on the inside of Katya's thigh.

"Yeah, I think that-- fuck." Trixie's tongue strokes over Katya's swollen folds. That definitely works. Trixie gets down to business right away, and slides a finger into Katya along with her mouth closing around her clit. Katya knows it’s not going to take much. Fucking Trixie always gets her half of the way there; she just needs a little stimulation. She stares down at Trixie in between her legs, her face calm, her eyes closed, blissfully sucking on her as if she’s never been happier.

"You're a miracle," Katya says, her voice shaky, and Trixie hums against her. The vibration tips Katya over the edge, and she pumps her hips against Trixie face as she comes, moaning deep in her throat. Her wrung out pussy gives another twitch when Trixie pulls her finger out of her and licks it clean.

"Jesus Christ." Katya lets herself fall back, still catching her breath.

The afterglow is interrupted by Trixie announcing she needs to pee, and Katya scrambling to help her get up.

“What about Calvin?” Trixie asks when they’ve settled in for the night, Katya behind her again, and with her hand resting on Trixie’s tummy. 

Katya barks out a dry laugh. “Absolutely not!”

“Mason?” Trixie suggests next.

“What is it with you and these straight people names?”

Katya can feel Trixie shrugging. “Straight people are the ones writing all the baby blogs.”

“Why should we listen to those? Since when do you care what any asshole with internet access has to say?” Trixie acknowledges it with a hum. “Can’t we go with something classic?”

“Boring, you mean.”

Katya rolls her eyes and gently nips at Trixie's neck. “You didn’t want a Russian name. That wouldn't have been boring.”

“Yeah, because I’d like to be able to pronounce our son's name,” Trixie argues, sounding irritated, and Katya kisses the spot she just bit.

“You never had any issues pronouncing mine.”

“Because I practiced when we first met.”

Katya sputters out a laugh and then has to pull a strand of Trixie's hair out of her mouth. 

"And it's not just about me," Trixie argues. "I don't want him to have to spell his name out all his life."

"That's fair." Katya reaches over Trixie to her nightstand and turns off the lamp, plunging them into soft, warm darkness. “We’re gonna have to settle on something soon, I don’t want to make a panic decision when he’s born, and name him after the first thing we see." 

Trixie giggles airily at that. "Meet our son Cabinet."

Katya snorts, her eyes closing by themselves. "That kinda works."

"No, it doesn't, you insane person." Trixie's voice is quiet and gentle, and Katya can tell she's about to drift off.

"What about Henry?" Katya murmurs, unwilling to give up on traditional names.

"Hm." Trixie pushes her hips back a little further so that she's pressed tightly against Katya's front. "I don't hate that."

"That's a start." Katya can feel her mind getting fuzzy. "I love you," she mumbles. Either Trixie is already out or Katya falls asleep before she can hear the reply.

*

With one bag slung over her shoulder and another dangling from her arm, Katya hurries to unlock the front door and hold it open for Trixie. She's slowly walking over from the car, and doesn't take her eyes off their baby. She doesn’t trust the car seat more than she absolutely has to, and instead carries their child in her arms.

It's a beautiful day in May, with the sun bright and warm above them. Still, there's barely any baby visible. The blanket on top of the warm onesie and the hat is probably not necessary, but Trixie didn’t want to take any chances.

Katya follows them into the living room and drops the bags by the couch before moving a pillow so that Trixie can sit on it. Then, she strokes her index finger down the tiny bridge of a tiny nose. 

“Welcome home, Hetty,” she murmurs as to not disturb the sleeping baby. She doesn’t stir in Trixie’s arms, apparently still exhausted from the excitement of leaving the hospital. She hadn’t liked being taken outside, but the car ride had quickly put her to sleep.

It had been a quick and easy birth -- at least according to the doctor; Trixie did have some choice words for him about that -- but in the end, the midwife laid a Henrietta on Trixie’s chest, not a Henry. It didn’t change anything, apart from the hand-painted sign on the nursery door that Jinkx had given them before, and she already sent them a photo of the new one she’d made, now with the right name on it.

The house is strangely quiet. Bob had agreed to take Cooper for a few days so they could settle in with the baby before introducing the two of them.

"Do you want to take her upstairs?" Trixie asks after she's unwrapped the blanket, holding Hetty out to Katya. She takes her gingerly, still not over how small she is.

"How are you a real human, hm?" she murmurs close to Hetty's face and presses a kiss to her forehead, covered in a hat with ducklings on it.

She's overly cautious as she walks up the stairs, not wanting to jostle the baby, and by the time she's made it to the nursery, Trixie has easily caught up with her, despite her own slow, careful waddle. 

Hetty doesn't wake up when Katya lays her down in the bassinet. Together, they watch her scrunched-up, perfect face and how her little chest rises and falls with every breath. Trixie puts her arm around Katya's waist and leans against her.

"You're going to be the best mom."

"Oh my God, I'm a  _ mom _ ." It doesn’t catch up with Katya until Trixie says it. Trixie was the one who gave birth; their friends and family have asked after  _ the mother's health.  _ They’ve congratulated Katya too, of course, but nobody has called her a mom in the few days since Hetty's birth. Just like that she's crying, and Trixie slings her other arm around her too.

"Aww, honey," she coos. "You're gonna be the best mom, and so am I." 

"Yeah." Katya nods, smiling through her tears. "And she's gonna have the best grandparents. And weirdest aunts and uncles," she adds, thinking about all their friends who are dying to meet the baby.

"Oh, our baby is gonna be weird. I don't think that was ever a question."

"No," Katya agrees, holding back her laughter. They'll both have to learn how to laugh like normal human beings, now that there's a baby in the house. There's a lot they'll have to learn. But Katya isn't worried. So far, there's nothing that she and Trixie haven't figured out together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving me a comment, I love them as much as Trixie and I love mashed potatoes. You can also find me on tumblr at [connyhascontrol](https://connyhascontrol.tumblr.com/).


End file.
